In my house, we don’t do slime. Its slick, viscous texture has horrified me from the start. It collects germ, dirt, and hair, and it clings mercilessly to just about every surface it comes in contact with. Sometimes, though, one of my kids comes home from school or a birthday party with slime, so resisting my instincts to discard it immediately, I have settled for a strict “only in the kitchen” rule.

Which is why, when my daughter returned from an excursion with her dad and a friend, it was the first time in years of parenting that I’d had to contend with getting slime out of clothes. When I saw her vehemently scrubbing with a dry washcloth at what she called “putty” (say what you want, slime marketers, we all know the stuff is basically colored glue), I did the research and became a slime-removal expert. Here’s what I learned.

How to remove wet slime from fabric

Wet slime is easier to remove than dry slime, so remove as much as you can before it dries by simply pulling it straight up and off whatever it’s stuck to. Then soak the stain in white vinegar for ten minutes before using an old toothbrush to scrub the area in a circular motion. Rinse with hot water and launder as usual. (If slime dye is left behind, liberally apply stain remover—or bleach diluted with water if it’s a white garment—and let sit for 15 minutes before washing.)

How to remove dry slime from fabric

Once the goop has had a chance to dry, it’s a whole new ball game. The first generally recommended step is to scrape as much as you can off with a butter knife. (It will not be much.) Various follow-up techniques are recommended, most of which I tried. See results below.

Less effective techniques:

Apply ice (or use the freezer): Some say applying ice to the affected area can sometimes harden slime for easier removal. Others recommend leaving the affected garment in the freezer for three or four hours might achieve the same goal. I’m not sure about direct ice application, but the freezer trick didn’t work for me. After four hours, the stuff barely budged. I checked the freezer temp, and it was 5°F, not the recommended zero degrees. Maybe those extra five degrees made it too tropical? Or maybe it depends on the particular ingredients in the specific slime. All slimes are basically the same, but they do have different ingredients, so it can’t hurt to give this a try, but don’t expect much.

Soak the slime in vinegar: When the freezer bath did nothing, I soaked the leggings in vinegar for 10 minutes then attempted brushing off slime with a toothbrush. While this technique may be effective on wet slime, on freeze-dried slime, all it did was somewhat artfully smush the slime further into the pant, à la Van Gogh’s Starry Night. If you see anyone recommending this, ignore them and move on to the next option.

Actually effective techniques:

Use dish soap (or laundry detergent) on the slime. Enter liquid dish soap, a miracle whose praises I have sung before. Now we can add slime removal to its list of cleaning glories: A few focused drops followed by vigorous scrubbing like the olden times, and wouldn’t you know? With a little scraping from ye olde fingernails, that stuff peeled right off? Whether the dish soap would be this effective straightaway, rather than as a follow-up to vinegar and warm water, I can’t say, but if you don’t want to waste time checking if the freezer method will work for you, start here.

Try rubbing alcohol, acetone, or nail polish remover on the slime. If all else fails, try dabbing a cotton ball soaked with rubbing alcohol, nail polish remover, or pure acetone to lift the slime bit by bit—it should stick to the cotton ball. Keep in mind these are much stronger, more astringent substances and should be tested on a small piece of fabric first to avoid creating an even worse mess.

How to get slime off of your couch

Similar methods can be used to lift slime from your family couch.

First, remove as much of the slime as possible by working it up and away from the fabric, without scrubbing it in. (A spoon can be an effective tool here.)

Next, mix 2/3 cup white vinegar with 1/3 cup water in a spray bottle. Spray the surface and let it soak in for 10-15 minutes before using a soft brush to work the solution into the fabric.

Rinse with water, pat dry—and banish slime from your house forevermore.